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New Dad to Tri Dad I think I need to push

Friday, July 31, 2015
New Dad to Tri Dad – I think I need to push
The six words that are forever etched into my brain. It’s 1am in the morning on Thursday 31st of July 2014. I’ve barely slept or eaten since my wife’s waters broke at 5am Tuesday morning.
We attended the midwifery classes, so I remembered the advice we’d be given and packed plenty of energy bars. The problem? No one told me that the high-energy snacks aren’t filling! My solution was simple. After spending all of Wednesday famished, and being told my wife wouldn’t be allowed to eat until 10pm, I did what any self-respecting male would do: I ordered a Chinese takeaway.
The joy, elation, and downright hunger that hit me when it arrived, I prioritised the first two mouth-watering bites for the juiciest ribs. The next thing I knew, my wife turned to me – clearly envious of my deserved feast – to let know she was “leaking”. Not a lot of things can me ignore a Chinese banquet, but discovering my wife was “leaking” certainly curbed both my enthusiasm and appetite.  Where was this swimming pool coming from?!
What happened next was outright excitement that turned into nothing. After Sarah and I (minus the Chinese feast) were rushed to the delivery room, I watched her get hooked up to the monitors and that’s it. It’s not how the TV shows would have you believe, where you’re in and out of the hospital, looking amazing at all times.
I looked like a sweaty mess, still thinking about how to recover my lost Chinese dinner, while my wife is taking everything in her stride. I may have taken a quick nap, maybe, you can’t prove anything. All I can say was that for the last two hours and 37 minutes of labour I was completely there. The last 45 hours had been a helpful warm up! Our little man arrives. The best moment of my life, even better than the arrival of my sweet and sour pork!
First inspection revealed massive feet, like his Dad. The nurse said: “He’ll be a swimmer with those feet.” I replied: “He’ll be a TRIATHLETE like his Dad.” One problem – I need to start training. Now, where are those spring rolls?